By: Heather Somaini
March 11th, 9:00am
“They’ve got Izzy for an x-ray. She’s stopped eating. You have to go be with her.”
Not Izzy too – I can’t be the only one NOT sick in our new family! I went to the nursery and as I entered the door I saw Izzy. She was on the portable x-ray machine being held down by a nurse and screaming her head off. Neither of the twins had made anywhere near that much noise up to that point and it completely freaked me out. What were they doing to her?
I moved closer and they told me to step back. I said “That one’s mine.” They still told me to step back. As they continued to position her for the x-ray, Izzy kept screaming. It was driving me nuts. I wanted to knock them away, pick her up and hold her tight. It took everything I had to stand still. The nurse looked at me and said “She’s a fighter.” Well, I guess that was reassuring. They finally finished and gave her to me. It was my first lesson in trying to calm a crying baby. I’m glad that over time I got better.
The doctors explained that because Izzy wasn’t able to keep any food down, they were concerned that she had an intestinal blockage. That seems easy enough. A little baby Drano or roto-rooter type action and all would be fine, right? Yeah, not so much. They explained that if the x-ray came back conclusive for a blockage, they would need to operate and remove that section of her intestine. What?!%?
I’m really glad that by this time we had as many setbacks as we did – to get pregnant, to stay pregnant, and to deliver the babies healthy. If we hadn’t, I probably would have lost it about now. But at this point, I just took in the information and knew we would cross that bridge when the x-ray results came in.
This is the thing with kids – it never stops. There’s always something to worry about and you’re always going to get pitched curveballs. It never really ends.
I’ve talked about this with my Mom and she reminded me of difficult times in my life that took very big tolls on her. How as an adult, her stress is less day to day but when it happens, it’s dramatic. I met my parents in England once for a quick vacation and had found out just two days before I was being laid off from my job. It was a stressful time but it wasn’t until my parents dropped me off at the airport that my Mom lost it. Apparently my challenging time was ok as long as I was with her but as soon as I was far away, it seemed unbearable.
I realize now of course, that my concern and stress for my kids will never go away and that I will have many sleepless nights. My stomach will perpetually have many knots and I will always worry that I’m doing the right thing. This is my new life. I have accepted it and am happy to take it on.
Izzy’s x-ray came back completely clear – no intestinal blockage. Phew. Doctors are such drama queens sometimes. They watered down her formula a bit and monitored her for another day or so and she did just fine. On that Monday, they told us that both Tere and Izzy could go home. Home? They didn’t expect me to take care of both of them, did they? Oh geez!
Now if we could only get Free unattached from all those tubes and out of the NICU…
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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