By: Amy Wise
When I learned that this month’s theme here at TNF was “Letting Go”, I literally laughed out loud! This very minute, as I sit here and write, there are so many “letting go” moments happening in my life. So many!
Today Tatiana is starting her behind-the-wheel driving lessons. I will be letting her go to drive on her own in a very short period of time. She has been practicing with me for 6 months and now she is going to be receiving her license. How do you let your baby go to drive on her own without worry and fear? I know I have to, and I know I have to trust that I have taught her well. She is a safe, smart driver and that’s what matters. Letting her go is not going to be easy but I know it’s time. Ready or not.
Today I’m also ordering Tatiana’s cap and gown for high school graduation. This past January she decided she wanted to graduate a year early. She did the research, figured out how to do it, we had meetings, called universities, and have now made it a reality. I’m letting her go to her next phase in life…a year early! This one is BIG!!! Talk about letting go! She is ready; the question is, am I?
Today I’m going downtown for trial preparation for our water trial next week. I’m letting go after 4 long years and I’m putting my life and my family’s life in the hands of 12 jurors. How do you let go and give it all over to 12 complete strangers? How? My husband says I’m a trooper and I can do it. I know I have to let go and let the system do what it’s designed to do. I don’t have an option, I must.
Today, as I prepare for trial and to get justice for the loss of our original dream, I’m moving on and letting go and working on my new dream. I’m writing my book with a new fervor, and now have a deadline for finishing. It’s not until I let go of the old and let in the new, did this determination and drive fully kick in. It’s time to move on and then some.
As you can see there is a lot of “letting go” in my life right now! It feels like an entire new life is being born right before my eyes. Maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be? It’s a lot to handle all at once, and sometimes letting go seems overwhelming, but when I just let be what will be, then it all seems to fall into place, just as it should.
So today I give my daughter wings, today I trust in the justice system, today I let my words flow. Today, I LET GO.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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