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Surrogate and Intended Parents: Staying Connected

by The Next Family February 21, 2011

By: Kelly Rummelhart

chatting with surrogate through skype

It is very important for the intended parents (IPs) and surrogate to stay connected throughout the pregnancy. Some surrogates live close to their IPs while others are on different continents. It’s great when the IPs can make it to the embryo transfer, ultrasounds, or any doctor’s appointments. However, this isn’t always possible. Luckily, in this day and age, there are so many things you can do to keep everyone in the know and up-to-date.

Skype and iChat are great. Not only can you truly interact with each other, but the surrogate can show off her expanding waistline and any belly dancing the fetus is doing. Another great thing about video conferencing is that others can join in, too. If there are any other children or soon to be grandparents, they may love to “meet” the woman who’s carrying their future family member. This option can also be very cost effective, not having to pay for multiple plane tickets or running up a phone bill.

Another cool way to help IPs “be there” is Facetime. If both parties have iPhones with Facetime capabilities, the IPs can be with their surrogate at doctor appointments and communicate with them and the OB at the same time. I have even found a few ultrasound places that can live stream the 3D/4D ultrasound. That way the surrogate is in the office and the IPs and up to 4 others can sign in with a password and see the ultrasound from their computers in real time. Simply amazing!

Blogging is such a great idea whether you are the surrogate or the IP. By having a blog, you can post pictures and experiences through the weeks, and in the end you have your entire journey in writing. Now, if you don’t want your blog open to the public, there are ways to make it more private. In my last journey, the IPs and I decided that blogging on my own established blog for all to see was not going to work. Instead, I decided to blog about the experience on a different site that required a login and password. In the end, they printed out every post and picture to add it to their baby books. Another possibility is to aim to have your blog published as a book.

Texting and emailing also work well. I found, in both journeys, that if I wanted to say hi or send a short “we’re doing fine” message, texting and emailing worked perfectly. It was non-intrusive and I always felt comfortable using this method of communication, especially if I was unsure about calling. I also loved sending pictures this way too, since belly pictures can easily brighten up a day. I once sent my IPs a picture of a positive pregnancy test (days after the transfer) while they were out to dinner for Valentine’s Day. They loved it!

Staying connected throughout the pregnancy is important and much easier than you think. Both parties just need to make sure they choose ways that make all feel comfortable. There is so much technology that can be used on a personal level nowadays. So, no matter where the IPs or surrogate live, they are just a finger tap away.

Kelly also writes at Justthestork

The post Surrogate and Intended Parents: Staying Connected appeared first on The Next Family.

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