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Roles

by The Next Family November 23, 2010

By: Chris Coyne

My mom was shocked, or so she said, when I told her I was gay. One of the first questions she asked me was shocking. She asked who the woman was going to be in a gay relationship. I explained to her that in a gay relationship it was two men and there was no woman. She stared at me a bit confused and I felt like I did not answer her question. Now I am pretty sure she was asking a different kind of question. I think she was asking me about my sexual role in the relationship. As far that is concerned I will tell you what I told her, “it’s none of your business and do not imagine me in a sexual way and I will try to do the same.” I stay out of my mother’s bedroom as she should stay out of mine. Right?

Cut to now. Jon is the bread maker and I am the bread baker. I cook, clean, do all the shopping, drop off the dry cleaning, and change the gross majority of our beautiful son’s stinky diapers. I am not implying that Jon does not do these things. He has been known to wash a dish or two or change an occasional poop-filled diaper, but rest assured, he will mention that one diaper that he had to change that exploded all over CJ’s car seat which should be enough to get him out of any smelly diaper as long as I am around.

During the week I sing our little man through his Little Maestros music class, jump and jiggle through gymboree, and coax his chunky little butt up the stairs so he can go down the slide a few hundred times a day. I love every second of it. I was made for it. I would never try to explain what Jon does. I know he works hard. I know we are doing well in our roles and I know he is happy doing what he does, what ever it is he does.

We both enjoy our down time. Jon gets to go to the office five long days a week. He provides a roof over our heads, food on our table, and everything we need to live in our current lifestyle. In exchange, I do not expect him to do much around the house. I expect little, but I get so much. I get to spend my week with the most amazing little boy I have ever met. Jon gets up with the baby on the weekends and lets me get out of bed when I am ready. I wake up to the most amazing sounds of the two people I love most enjoying life at its fullest.

Again, Mom, there is no woman in our relationship. I may be a bit wife-ish, but that is who I am.

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