By: Heather Somaini
It was mid-September and we were getting very close to a very super-duper important date. The day that Dr. S, the fertility specialist, would release us back to our regular OB/GYN. It’s important because your pregnancy is in good shape when they feel confident to let you go back to your regular doctor. Those fertility specialists are very proprietary about their pregnancies!
Tere had traveled with me the year before to our company’s Annual General Meeting of Shareholders (AGM) in Toronto which happened to take place during the Toronto International Film Festival . We would go up a few days early, watch movies and generally hang out in what is, by far, one of my favorite cities. It’s clean, the people are nice, and the festival is spread out enough that you don’t feel like you never left Los Angeles. The food is pretty good too.
This September, Tere was about 8 weeks pregnant when we left. She had very serious morning sickness. I’m not really sure why they call it morning sickness. Tere was sick 24-hours a day. She had terrible acid reflux and could barely keep any food down. She consistently lost weight during the first few months of the pregnancy. At least that silver lining made her happy!
We arrived in Toronto and we did see a couple movies but overall, we hung out in the hotel room. Tere was just so sick. I felt terrible for her but I was happy it wasn’t me! I think there are some things I just shouldn’t do. I mean, I could do it and all, but maybe I’m just not best suited for being pregnant. It’s sort of like being on one of those Survivor shows – I could do it but I just don’t think I’m best suited to eat worms and things with tentacles.
Dr. S had told us to call Dr. C to let her know the good news about our pregnancy and that we would be coming back into her care very soon. I had left a message and it ended up that Dr. K, my doctor, called me back. I explained that we had used my eggs but that Tere was carrying our twins. He was ecstatic. He knew how much this meant to us. Then he paused and said “Wow, you really negotiated a great deal Heather.” I laughed and we talked some more. Before he let me go, he reiterated that I had negotiated a great deal with Tere. I guess it’s always surprising when someone realizes that you’ve sort of turned the normal process of having babies upside down. And anyway, it was a great deal for me!
Tere and I have always taken big decisions head-on and this time was no different. Tere had been working for a company she loved in Orange County and was driving about 90 minutes one-way every day. We both worked long hours but on top of that, the drive was starting to take its toll on her. She was offered a job here in Los Angeles and was seriously conflicted about what to do. On the day we found out she was pregnant with twins, she was attending a corporate retreat. When she came back with the good news, her CEO somewhat cavalierly said “Get that employment ad ready for a new CFO.” Tere’s jaw dropped. She had no idea if he was joking or not but she certainly felt unnerved. She talked to me later that night. She was starting to realize that her future family and her time may be more important to her than her current position. That there were other companies she could just as easily climb the corporate ladder with. It was her decision but I was certainly excited about the possibility of actually seeing Tere during the week and maybe having dinner with her once in awhile!
It was probably the hardest decision Tere had to make and it started to put in perspective the sacrifices and decisions we all make as parents. She gave notice at the end of August and was set to start her new job at the end of October. She had a two-month transition period which was incredibly generous and her new company was willing to wait for her. If they only knew what was coming down the pike…
After we returned from Toronto, we had another ultrasound appointment. Another gut-wrenching wait before I heard the heartbeats and then relief, sweet relief. Oh, and another alien ultrasound picture. I can’t wait for them to start looking like babies!
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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