Cyber Monday 50% OFF SITE WIDE! Check it out now | Free Shipping + Financing Available!

Girl Birthday

by The Next Family September 28, 2010

By: Tanya Ward Goodman

My daughter turned six last week.  In keeping with her exacting nature, she had very specific plans for the celebration of this momentous event.

First, there were to be two parties: the “kid” party and the “grown-up” party.  The kid party would take place on a weekend.  There would be a tent set-up in the back yard, chicken and jam sandwiches would be served.  There would be no games, but there would be many prizes.  Lemonade would be sipped through colorful straws.  There might be a magic show or a rock concert or an aquarium.  This birthday would be an animal birthday and a tea party.  There would be necklaces and stickers in the shapes of cats.  There would be a pony.  The party would be girls only.

My daughter was more flexible on some of these requests than on others.  For instance, we did have colored straws, but we did not have a pony.

In one area, however, she remained rigid. Aside from her brother (who was family and also might provide the magic show or rock concert) she was adamant that there be no boys.

Only one boy was deeply distressed by this.  This boy is my son’s best friend.  This boy is the kind of guy who enjoys a tea party.  When he joins us for play dates, he is just as happy building Lego battleships with my son as he is moving furniture around in my daughter’s dollhouse.

“It’s not fair,” this boy said.  “I’ve known you your whole life.”

“I know, but it’s girls only,” my daughter said.

“But I always come to your birthday,” the boy argued.

This boy made my daughter a video in which he and his brother (wearing matching striped pajamas) sing a birthday song while accompanying themselves on guitars.

“Don’t you want to invite him?” I asked.  “He’s a good friend.”

“Mom, it’s my party,” my daughter said.

“But he’s singing to you.”

“It’s my birthday,” she said.

I spent the better part of the week trying to wrangle this boy an invitation to the all girl tea-party.  I asked my daughter to recall his sensitivity, his love of tiny, plastic guinea pigs, his exemplary behavior at tea-parties gone by.

“He’s so nice to you,” I said.

“It’s my party,” she said.

In the end, I let it go.

I thought of my own life and of all the sad boys who have passed through it.  I thought of the boys who bought me a beer or complimented my smile.  I thought of the boys whose only kind gesture was to pick up the check or hold my door.  For a long time, I felt like I owed these boys something in return for their kindness, no matter how slight it might be.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the strength and confidence my daughter has at six will stay with her at sixteen and twenty-six and beyond.  I am hoping that one day she’ll kiss someone because she really wants to and not because she feels it’s the polite thing to do.

The post Girl Birthday appeared first on The Next Family.




The Next Family
The Next Family

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

e13db90f29f21c3e81584d04ee44408be273e7d61cb710479cf7_640_fitness-300x214@2x

Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment

SidsFamily

By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →