By: Craig Zagurski
I have two weeks to myself.
Every two weeks.
And I love them.
I wake up as late as I want on the weekends after staying up as late as I wanted the night before. I can sit by myself at the Mac for as long as I’d like. I can work as late as I want and go out evenings and get drunk. I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want. I can choose to fix whatever I want for dinner and skip lunch if I’m in too deep with the Mac. I can stall, procrastinate, avoid, escape, hide, cower, self-degrade, panic, speculate, reflect, re-think, plan, research, design, create, share, provide, rebuild, and occasionally sing.
By the end of my two weeks to myself, I am missing the kids and begin thinking of what fun plans to make for when they arrive–thinking of cost, mutual interests, daytime and bedtime schedules. The jokes, the games, the Simpsons. The cooking, the bathing, the laundry, the dishes, the wiping, the refereeing, the driving, the shopping, the disciplining, the teaching, the adjusting, the praising, the tickling, the farting, the snuggling, the kissing, and the tucking in (which always ends with the three of us saying to each other, “Until next time, idiots”).
After all, they are my family—a habitual part of my life that I notice when it is missing. I see parts of myself and their mommy every day in the way they choose to react to life’s b.s. I see my son speaking sternly and authoritatively to my daughter. I hear my daughter insisting on being the ringleader and decision maker to my son. They’re pretty good impersonations, too.
My little projects…who show me what a larger infrastructure for loving someone wholly and deeply looks like.
Noon on Saturday arrives early. And I love them.
I wake up as late as I want on the weekends after staying up as late as I wanted the night before. I can sit by myself at the Mac for as long as I can get away with it. I can work until 5:30 and get a buzz from my one beer with dinner. I can watch whatever Pixar movies I want, whenever I want. I can choose to fix whatever I want for dinner and re-explain what “brunch” means. I can stall, procrastinate, avoid, escape, hide, cower, self-degrade, panic, speculate, reflect, re-think, plan, research, design, create, share, provide, rebuild, and occasionally sing.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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