Cyber Monday 50% OFF SITE WIDE! Check it out now | Free Shipping + Financing Available!

I Solemnly Swear…

by The Next Family May 18, 2010

By: Ann Brown

I am speechless.

This week, a parent in one of my classes said that his high-schooler had to sign an “abstinence contract” in his Health class. Were you aware of this?

Surely, this is the 9th sign of The Apocalypse. Well, maybe the 17th or 18th sign.

Contrary to what you may presume I am about to say, my biggest problem with this is that I don’t think we should be pressuring young people to sign contracts that they have no intention of fulfilling. It’s a legal/ethical thing with me, not a sex thing. It’s a gateway situation. It starts with signing an abstinence contract in high school that you know is a sham and then before you know it, you are Dick Cheney, raking in blood money from the war in Iraq and shooting your friends in the face. It’s a slippery slope.

Thank God, I went to school in the pre Health/Sex Ed days. We had uneducated sex. Which is pretty much the same as educated sex, except without the pop quizzes and grainy filmstrips.

What we did have in terms of preparation for Real Life, in lieu of Sex Ed, was Home Ec. Which is so stupid because in Real Life, offering your man a homemade gym bag in the back seat of his VW van isn’t gonna get a ring on it, you know?

I took Sewing. Yeah, you heard me. Cooking was filled.

Some girls bucked the system and stormed the all-boys elective Woodworking, but, frankly, I was worried that Woodworking was going to be more actual work than Sewing. I mean, it has the word work right in the name. In the end, however, the joke was on me because the chauvinistic Woodworking teacher expected nothing from the girls in his class and they all got “A”s just for showing up, while the skinny bitch Sewing teacher was hell-bent on turning me into Coco fucking Chanel in that junior high school sweatshop of hers.

I got my first “D” in that class. Not because I couldn’t sew for shit (which I can’t) but because I got busted for making a deal with a girl in the class that if she’d sew my gym bag for me, I wouldn’t tell my friends that she stuffed her bra. Evidently that kind of thinking outside the box was frowned upon in my junior high. Can’t blackmail another student.

Which, when you think of it, is really the contract they should have kids sign.

The post I Solemnly Swear… appeared first on The Next Family.




The Next Family
The Next Family

Author


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.


Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

e13db90f29f21c3e81584d04ee44408be273e7d61cb710479cf7_640_fitness-300x214@2x

Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment

SidsFamily

By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →