Free shipping over $99 | Interest Free *no credit check* financing is available!

Puffy Eyes

by The Next Family February 25, 2010

By: Rosy Barren


I stayed up all night and watched the sunrise in the morning for the first time in my adult life.  My eyes were puffy as I hiked alongside my wife in Griffith Park.  I had spent the whole night sobering up and by morning was calculating my next move.  The rising sun was too bright for spirit, too happy for my soul yet it was my re-birth, my chance to change the fate of my heart.  I had no control over my situation, I can’t make my body become pregnant, no matter how hard I try, but I can tame my heart, I can maintain my happiness through all the ensuing chaos.  As my eyes got heavier throughout the night I fell into a deeper hole of resentment for allowing myself to get lost in the quest for a child.  I have become a puppet to my infertility.  I am dancing around doctors, medication, schedules, work and smiling throughout, a fake cheery, rosy-cheeked smile- to tell the world, I’m strong and I can take anything, I’m OK.

I learned last night that I’m not, I’m a tiny speck in a huge universe that is spinning myself into a deep depression and it’s got to stop.  I made a plan, a plan that had nothing to do with creating a child.  I thought about myself for the first time in 2 years, what do I want?  What do I need- to get through the day?  I woke my wife and we got our coffees at 5AM, drove to the observatory and walked until the day began.  We were no longer 2 broken people in a broken relationship struggling aimlessly for something just beyond our reach- we were back- hand-in hand, together finding our way.

[photo credit: Fickr- Easylanish]

The post Puffy Eyes appeared first on The Next Family.

The Next Family
The Next Family


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Also in Parenting

Modern Fitness For the Modern Parent

by The Next Family March 25, 2016


Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian

By Laura King

Life can get busy. With work, kids, family commitments, friends, chores, and the general chaos of everyday life, it can be near impossible at times to sit down for a cup of tea, let alone squeeze in an hour of exercise regularly. However, all things are possible if you set your mind to them. Those that prioritize their fitness nearly...

Continue Reading →

Estate Planning: The Basics For LGBT Families

by The Next Family March 25, 2016

With the passage of marriage equality last year, laws have been quickly changing across the United States. LGBT couples with or without children weren’t just given the right of marriage, they were provided new protections and benefits within their families. All of a sudden, LGBT couples and families had to figure out how to file jointly when it came to taxes, how to add...

Continue Reading →

Representation of Modern Families in Kid-Friendly Entertainment

by The Next Family March 24, 2016 1 Comment


By Alex Temblador

I recently wrote an article for The Next Family called, “Family-Friendly Films That Feature Adoption and Foster Care,” that shared wonderful family films with adoption or foster care story lines. My reasoning behind doing so was because every family deserves a chance to see similar families like theirs represented in various forms of entertainment.

The same can be said of other...

Continue Reading →