We hung out with a couple friends that have just joined the “secret society”. It was as if we couldn’t get the words out fast enough when we began talking about this newfound world of theirs. We have been members for 2 ½ years, if you count the initiation period. They are just starting out, learning the ropes and beginning to realize that once you’re a member- you are one for life.
I remember the day I realized I was part of this “secret society”. Susan and I had been invited to a party in Westwood by a couple of our friends. Ordinarily we would show up at a shindig like this, say hello, hang out for 30 minutes and dodge out to dinner or a movie. We really didn’t expect to know anyone except Mako and Kevin (the hosts).
This party was to be no different; I was 12 weeks pregnant and had just begun telling people. I was queasy and tired and the escape plan was on the agenda from the start. We walked around the house peering at pictures of Kevin in high school and marveling at the large pool in the open backyard packed with people eating stunning appetizers cooked by the chef and host Mako. Susan grabbed me a plate of snacks and we stood quietly talking to each other. Kevin, always the life of the party brought over a couple and introduced us as a good host will do. We did the chit chat-banter as usual and than Susan told them we were “expecting”.
All at once, something happened, it was as if we were holding the Holy Grail. The conversation was non-stop, other couples began surrounding us, we were chatting about strollers and bjorns and pack and plays, words I didn’t know, didn’t understand, couldn’t comprehend. We were fully immersed in deep discussions about sleep schedules and feeding cycles. I couldn’t get past the sea of people to quench my pregnant thirst. I was getting hot and overwhelmed and a bit excited. Even though my throat was running dry, we were the most popular people at the party, there were important topics to cover. We were learning about this new world that we had been so desperately pledging for the last 2 years. Now here we were, a very popular pair with a baby on the way. We stayed at that party for 2 hours, we danced, we sang, we were taking names and getting numbers. Welcome to the club!
The club, the secret society, the other side of the world in which you see everything just a little bit differently. Life is incredibly hard and seen oftentimes through tired eyes but the highs are higher and the moments softer. The park and walks and animals and art and music and grocery stores and all things mundane B.B (Before Baby) are now somehow better, sweeter. I stop and watch a roly poly scooting across our path. I bend down and examine its little legs, I actually enjoy these moments. I laugh through dinner at the excitement my daughter gets over crunching into her taco. I giggle at words that I don’t understand. I shout at the top of my lungs and dance on our living room table.
I remember the first time we all walked to coffee together as a family when Sophia was less than a week old. Susan with the dog and me pushing the “Snap and Go” -another one of those secret phrases- and I felt so perfectly perfect. It all fit into place. Everything had come full circle. The cycle has completed itself and I was starting a new life all over again. It was a second chance to slow down and see the world with fresh eyes.
I can only fully explain this secret society to people that are pledging members because you can only see it when you’re ready but when you are ready, it’s the time of your life.
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Originally published on The Seattle Lesbian
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