Want to know what happened at Saturday’s MTV Movie Awards?
Well, you’ve got two options.
You could, you know, watch the show (but why would you want to do that?), or you could just read the following sentence: Zac Efron apologized to Seth Rogen‘s testicles, and Alexander Skarsgard presented with no pants on.
Welcome to now.
Let’s start with Zac’s a-ball-ogy. The Neighbors 2 costars appeared on stage together, only Seth had clearly been inflated somehow.
“Dude, what’s going on here?” Efron asked Rogen. “Your body, dude. You’re enormous. You’re huge. What the heck happened to you? What did you do to your body?”
Rogen responded, “I think the real question, Zac, is what did you do to my body? You forced me into this! And not just you. It’s also Kevin Hart, The Rock, Ryan mother-fucking Reynolds! You’re all funny and muscly at the same time and it’s not fair! You’re messing with the formula and I had to adapt, brother, by taking whatever substance I can get my hands on!”
Efron offered an apology. “Seth, you looked great before! I’m sorry you put yourself to this.”
But he didn’t owe the apology to Seth’s face apparently.
“You know who you should be apologizing to are my testicles because they’re shrunk to almost essentially nothing.”
And that’s how this happened:
Truly the stuff of legends, folks.
You can watch the whole stunt below:
— MTV (@MTV) April 11, 2016
For the record, Seth’s nuts did not accept.
“Well, they don’t forgive you, Zachary. They will never forgive you,” said Seth, relaying the message.
Meanwhile, Alexander Skarsgard wasn’t wearing any pants. It’s a much simpler story than the Nutcracker above.
Co-presenter and Tarzan costar Samuel L. Jackson spoke truth to power — “You’re not wearing any pants.”
— GIPHY (@giphy) April 11, 2016
“Nope, no pants,” Skarsgard replied, adding, “Me Tarzan. Gotta give the fans a little skin.”
There you have it. The state of our Union is strong.