What began as an awkward conversation at a wedding (we’ve all been there) set off a life-altering chain of events that left one woman alone in the rubble of her shattered marriage to a closeted gay man.
Sharing her story on Reddit, 25-year-old Holly writes that she was with her husband, a fitness trainer, at a friend’s wedding reception when the couple was approached by a man she’d never seen before. The man greeted her husband.
“They met like they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. My husband even said to him, ‘Wow you look good,’ and he was smiling a lot. His friend even said, ‘I love your beard, wish you had grown it out a bit earlier when I told you to,’ and then turned slightly in my direction and I smiled, and then my husband introduced us quite hesitantly saying ‘this is my wife.'”
She didn’t think much of the encounter. That is, not until the man came up to her a few hours later as they were beginning to say their goodbyes.
“The friend comes up to me while my husband was saying goodbye to the groom. He said, ‘I don’t know whether I should be telling you this or not, but your husband is gay, take my word for it, I am too,’ and then he said ‘sorry’ and left, speed walking away.”
Holly suppressed the shock as best she could, and waited until the next morning to confront her husband. When she told him what had happened, he became instantly angry, swearing at the man and storming out of the house.
Readers expressed compassion for her situation, suggesting she wait to find out the full picture — maybe he’s bi, or perhaps there’s an explanation.
In a follow-up post, she shares what happened next:
I was thinking about filing a missing persons report like some of you said but by that time it was 7 and he called me saying he was home and literally hung up the phone. I got there as fast as I could.
I get in the house and most his shit is packed, so I assume he came in before. I started crying and he just sat on the couch while I yelled at him. He said absolutely nothing . just when I started feeling bad, the friend we saw at the wedding comes out my bedroom holding boxes.
I asked him if he was gay and he said he is but didn’t know how to deal with it. Apparently, he married me because I was in love with him and he “felt bad”. When I asked if he cheated on me, he said yes, with the same friend. They met at a bar and slept together. The friend didn’t know he was married and wanted a relationship. My husband said he fell in love with him and wanted to be with him but couldn’t so they drifted apart a year later. The wedding was the time they met after all that time and That’s when he realized my husband was married.
He told me he initially left to give his friend (Matthew) a piece of his mind for telling me, but I’m assuming he went there , fucked him, and then they took a shower and slept together because he was dressed in someone else’s clothes and clearly looked well slept and fine. Better than before actually. While I looked like an absolute mess with bags under my eyes and my face was fucking breaking out.
I have never been so infuriated and sad in my entire life I have absolutely no energy left in me. I told him to take his stuff and we’re getting divorced. And all he said was “I’m sorry it has to be this way but at least be a little nicer to Matthew for forcing me to come out so we can each be happier.”
So he clearly cares more about him than he ever did about me and I’m apparently a pity case. He left with his new boyfriend and I’m certain theyre moving in together now. I have been sitting on my bed crying my eyes out and having a massive headache since then. I really don’t know how to live without him, I love him and despite all of that, hes done so many amazing things and I honestly can’t let go. I don’t live at our place anymore even though he said I could have the house. I’ve been staying at my mom’s place because everything reminds me of him.
Before he left he told me he did love me, just in a “different way.” I don’t know what to do anymore…
Thanks for all the kind words and advice, it was comforting to read.
tl;dr: husband is gay, were getting a divorce