Marco Rubio Loves Gay Music But Not Gay People

matt baume

rubio

This is why the moderated CNN town halls are so much better than the messy debates: during last night’s, Anderson Cooper asked some of the candidates about what music they like, and both Rubio and Cruz got really weird with their responses.

First up: Marco Rubio, who told the audience that it’s OK for him to like electronic dance music because “The words are clean. Sometimes they have no words at all. It’s electronic dance music. I don’t have to worry about the lyrics.”

Yup, this is a grown ass man, afraid that he might hear a dirty word in his music. Music that, we might add, was pioneered by the homosexuals that Rubio wants to take rights away from.

“Ever been to a rave?” asked Anderson. Rubio looked a little uncomfortable about that and said no. And you know what it means when a conservative denies doing something even a little bit fun: they are DEFINITELY telling the truth.

Anyway, now that the subject came up during a Republican town hall, you can expect parents everywhere to start talking about EDM. Those should be some fun conversations.

And then it gets worse: Ted Cruz started talking about how he likes musicals, and then sang some Stevie Wonder. At least, we’re pretty sure that’s what happened. There’s a video clip of it but we can’t bring ourselves to watch because Ted’s face is nauseating.

Ted has also said that he started listening to country music on 9/11, possibly the weirdest variation on the “the whole world changed that day” statement ever made.

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