Generally speaking, it’s straight people who copy gay people; in this case, it appears to be the other way around.
More and more gay couples are engaging in cuckolding, the act of watching one’s partner have sex with another person, typically someone with larger genitalia. Cuckolding used to be classified as more of a heterosexual activity (in fact, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary still defines it as such), but it appears those rules are being rewritten.
“We might think that no one likes to be cheated on, but the truth is, some do,” Dr. Joe Kort explains in an article about this growing trend among same-sex couples. “And believe it or not, it gets them off!”
He continues, “Gay cuckolding is different than having a three-way. In a three-way everyone is equal, whereas in cuckolding one is intentionally left out and taunted or humiliated for everyone’s arousal in the fantasy.”
Kort argues that while cuckolding has been around for centuries, “cuckolding in the gay male community has not been much acknowledged nor even existed.”
An increasing number of Tumblr pages and Reddit threads are being devoted to the phenomenon. And academics are taking note of it, as well. In fact, a study titled “Gay Men’s Cuckolding Fantasies” is currently being conducted by researchers Ball State University. (They’re looking for participants if you want to get involved.)
“Cuckolding is yet one more type of ‘kinkiness’ that has been lurking in the background of many people’s sexual life,” Kort says. “It has elements of power and control. It is on the continuum of domination and submission which can be very sexually arousing.”
But Kort cautions couples to really think it through before engaging in cuckoldry.
“This can be a very hot fantasy to have and to fulfill but needs to be handled with care if a couple decides to make it a reality,” he says. “Despite cuckolding’s popularity in Internet searches, sometimes things are left better as a fantasy.”
He recommends doing the following: Keep the dialogue open, set boundaries, have a safe word in case things don’t go as planned, and talk about it afterwards.
“I must emphasize here that there is nothing pathological or unusual about such fantasies,” he says. “In reality, everyone has one or more “twisted,” non PC fantasies. Variations of sexual turn-ons seem to be infinite. The Internet has just allowed us to upload them from our brains onto websites and give us more access to them.”