Her boyfriend is obsessed with male anatomy and watching gay videos, but he insists he’s straight
A 30-year-old woman says her 32-year-old boyfriend insists he’s straight but that he also has a fetish for phallus, watches gay adult films, and once hooked up with another dude, so she’s turning to Reddit for help.
“My boyfriend of 10 months, whom I love very much, just admitted to me that he has questioned his sexuality in the past and currently watches gay porn on occasion,” the Reddit post begins. “He says that he’s not attracted to men, isn’t turned on by men, has no interest in dating men, but does have a ‘penis fetish,’ as he calls it.”
Her boyfriend told her is all started when he went through “a cocaine phase and had thoughts of a penis arousing him–not a man.”
She writes, “He explored it and gave himself permission to hook up with a man and says it was never a real interest of his. He thinks that it’s not the man itself that’s attractive to him, but the penis.”
She admits that she’s having “extremely conflicting feelings” about all this. She has no issues with LGBTQ people, and understands the concept of sexual fluidity, but she’s still bothered by the whole thing.
“I don’t really understand why,” she admits. “I have a concern that 10 years down the line, he’ll need to continue exploring these feelings. And on top of that, being completely honest, I feel very weirded out… which makes me ashamed because it goes against all my core beliefs.”
She concludes, “I think we’re going to try counseling to try to understand where the other is coming from… I think I need some help too. I love him and I want to accept him, but I’m struggling. Has anyone been in my shoes or his?”
As usual, the advice from the other Redditers is all over the map.
“I’ve looked at porn with twinks before,” one man writes, “but I also realize that it’s probably not something I’d be interested in outside of the Internet. I get the feeling that you just need time to digest this information, and I doubt this should be a long term problem.”
“I’m straight and happily married,” another guy says. “I think penises are hot, but have no desire to go outside my marriage to explore it in real life. Looking at them once in a while is all it really takes. I also do not foresee this escalating into something I have to do years down the road.”
“I read somewhere that, back in the day, the sight of another erect penis may have been a cue for other men to know that mating was happening in the area and to get on board,” a third person writes.
“Maybe you could try engaging with him using a dildo or a strap on?” a fourth person suggests. “Do you think he might be receptive to using the dildo on you since it’s penis shaped? That would fulfill the whole penis thing with it being someone he loves, and a female.”
What advice do you have for this woman? Share in the comments section below…