Her Fiancé Is Hooking Up With Guys Behind Her Back–What Should She Do?
A 24-year-old woman on Reddit is in quite a pickle. Her fiancé has hooked up with at least three, possibly four other guys behind her back. He doesn’t know she knows. And she’s not sure how to approach him about it.
“Just to give a little background,” the woman’s post begins, “I’m 24 (female) and my fiancé is 25. We’ve been together almost two years. Very early into our relationship he cheated on me with two different girls within a few days of each other, I chose to forgive him and we moved on.”
That sounds like red flag #1 and #2, but we digress.
She goes on to say they have a “active sex life” but not quite as active as she would like. At first, she thought nothing of this, until recently.
“He was showing me something on his phone when a message from a guy came up that said ‘okay daddy ;)’,” the woman writes. “He laughed and quickly explained that it was a friend of his just joking around. Normally I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but my gut told me something was off.”
So she did some snooping. She quickly found her fiancé had been sexting with another guy for some time.
“Earlier messages showed that they made plans to meet up for this guy to give my boyfriend a blowjob,” she says. “What alarmed me even more were three other men he had the same conversations with.”
The post continues: “All of the messages were about them giving him head, nothing more and never about him reciprocating. They didn’t even have a cordial conversation, it was literally all sexual.”
The woman says she’s more confused than hurt over the information, and she’s not quite sure what to do next.
“I have no clue how to approach him about this and it’s such a sensitive subject for him I obviously can’t ask any of our/my friends,” she writes. “I don’t think he prefers men, he was a huge womanizer before we got together, constantly bringing different girls home.”
She goes on to say that several of her gay friends regularly talk about hooking up with straight men.
“So I guess I just need to know whether I should be worried,” she says. “I’d rather not marry someone just for him to leave me for a man a few years down the road.”
We’d say that’s a valid concern.
Now for the responses:
“Either way, doesn’t matter if these are girls or guys, he is not loyal and what is even worse, he is not transparent,” one person says. “Even normal guys don’t joke, flirt and offer blowjobs to their friends. This guy is a red flag.”