Love got you down? You’re not the only one. Finding Mr. Right can be a real challenge, especially in the wham-bam-thank-you-man age of dating apps. Lucky, self-help guru Max DuBowy is here to help.
“Most of us resort to dating apps like Grindr, Scruff, OkCupid or Manhunt, all with the hopes of connecting with our community or meeting the love of our life,” Max DuBowy says in his latest online post How To Meet Quality Gay Guys.
But apps, he explains, usually just attract guys looking to get their rocks off and “can leave you feeling rejected and lonely — especially when a hookup or encounter doesn’t turn into a meaningful friendship.”
Bars and clubs can be equally difficult, he says, especially for those who aren’t into “the scene.”
“You don’t have to go to nightclubs or create a dating profile when you’re feeling lonely, bored or horny,” DuBowy says. “You don’t have to put yourself in environments that make you feel uncomfortable.”
In fact, doing so is not mentally “hygienic,” he says.
“Just like we need to stay hygienic with our physical bodies by brushing our teeth, taking showers and exercising, it’s equally as important to place ourselves in healthy environments that support our happiness and social well-being.”
OK, got it. But where exactly does one go to meet guys then?!
The key, DuBowy advises, is digging deep and figuring out what your values are.
“When you identify your values, then you can pick and choose communities that align with your values,” he explains. “There are plenty of activities that align with your values in your new city like hiking, yoga, video game clubs, book clubs, art studios, and seminars at local colleges and universities.”
From there, you’ll have a better chance of meeting possible suitors since you’ll be around people who share similar interests and values.
Then, DuBowy says, you need to talk to people. No seriously, talk. Don’t text. Don’t rely on social media. Talk. Introduce yourself, exchange phone numbers, follow up, and keep in touch.
“It’s your responsibility to take the initiative to make new friends and form new social groups,” DuBowy says. “No one else is gonna do this for you, but now you have the exact steps to take to get a group of guy friends together, and you also know how to meet quality gay guys outside the gay scene.”
We’re not sure about you, but our minds are completely blown by this information.