A 34-year-old heterosexual man is freaking out after he accidentally touched his co-worker’s erection during an orgy, so he’s seeking counsel from the advice columnist at his local newspaper.
“Dear Doc,” the letter begins, “I am a guy who has had a really unpleasant and shocking experience.”
The man explains, “I let another guy at work persuade me to arrange a foursome, involving our wives and ourselves.”
After hammering out the details, the swingers agreed to meet that Saturday for an evening of drinks, snacks and recreational lovemaking.
“We had a few drinks and some snacks, which they had prepared, then we got down to business,” the man writes. “Everybody took off their clothes … The next two hours were a bit of a blur. I know that I penetrated the other woman several times, though I took care not to orgasm. I also remember seeing my colleague having intercourse with my wife for quite a long time.”
Then, at around 10 p.m., all four of them “piled into a heap on the bed” for an orgy.
“There were all kinds of things going on,” he recalls. “However, suddenly something dreadful happened.”
As the two husbands were pleasuring one of the wives, they briefly rubbed up against each other.
“To my horror, my genitals accidentally touched the other guy’s,” the man writes. “I was disgusted by that, so I pulled away. I lost my erection immediately. In fact, I went outside and was sick.”
He adds: “The worst thing was that just after all this, I think he orgasmed.”
The man says as a result he “felt terrible” and left “as soon as possible.” Since then he has been “depressed” and very “unhappy.”
The man now has three questions:
1. Does this most unfortunate contact indicate that my colleague is secretly a homosexual?
2. Or am I perhaps secretly gay?
3. Could I have caught anything from the other guy?
Thankfully, the “Doc” breaks everything down for the guy.
“I do not believe for a moment that you are ‘secretly gay’,” the Doc writes. “To put it mildly, your entire story seems to be highly heterosexual.”
As for the other guy being “secretly homosexual,” that, too, seems unlikely seeing as how “this was obviously an accidental contact.”
Also, the chances that the man “caught anything” from the brief encounter are also slim, though there is a possibly his wife has “germs in her vagina,” which she may want to be tested for.
“My advice: Talk to your wife about what happened. Stop worrying. If you are still having these ‘low’ feelings, see a counsellor,” the Doc writes. The he adds with just the slightest touch of moral superiority, “And, please, do not do a foursome ever again!”