Jaden Smith Comes Out As A Former Vampire
Just in time for Halloween, verified kook Jaden Smith has made a theoretically chilling — but actually deeply silly — confession: He was once a vampire.
He said as much while chatting with Numéro magazine, but emphasizes that those darker days of bloodsucking are now long behind him, and he knows deep down in his once-craven heart that it’s time to put childish fangs away:
“During a period of my life, I was gothic. I was only wearing black and I was hiding from the sun because I was a vampire. I was a vampire, for real. I could not expose myself to the sun and I was only wearing black trench coats. I’m not a vampire anymore, I’m out of that phase. I’ve opened myself up to wearing more colorful clothes, to going out in the middle of the day. I share much more mixed energies.”
And there you have it. He’s retracted his pointy teeth, discovered the joys of sunshine, and has presumably matured to the point that he now realizes slaking one’s thirst on goblets teeming with virgin blood is simply not the way of the mighty hearted.
Having learned this, exactly how scared are you?