He’s not gay. He’s not even bi. He swears. It’s just that he went a little haywire on the drinking and drugging, and one thing led to another, and–well–that other thing?–it was nothing. Just sleeping with two guys. No biggie.
That’s the gist of one woman’s tawdry turmoil, as told to The Mirror‘s plucky advice columnist, “Dear Coleen”:
My husband went to Magaluf on a stag week recently and when he got back he confessed that he’d got drunk and slept with another man, blaming the fact that he was “so out of it”.
He told me he woke up and screamed when he realized he was in a hotel bed with this guy lying next to him.
But he also admitted he’d got very drunk on another occasion and slept with the groom (his friend), who surprisingly enough isn’t angry and just said: “It’s just a bunch of stuff that happened. ‘I’m not bothered I slept with you, we did it and that’s it.'”
Her husband probably wishes what happened in Magaluf had stayed in Magaluf, because now his confession has left the relationship in shambles. The wife and mother of his four-year-old son wants to forgive him, but she claims “it feels hard,” no doubt echoing her husband’s ecstatic yelps over the course of the weekend.
Now, her husband and their mutual friend is requesting that she keep this indiscretion from the bride-to-be, but she’s not sure that’s the way to go.
So, what’s Coleen’s advice? Surprisingly even-keeled, if a bit naive.
First, she doesn’t think she should tell the bride to be, because “it’s up to her fiancé to tell her. The chances are she’ll shoot the messenger and still marry him anyway.”
But Colleen feels this young woman’s pain, for sure. “The trouble with confessions is that while they unburden the confessor, the problem is dumped on the other person to deal with.”
She urges the distraught woman to keep in mind her husband was honest, or at the very least honest–esque, and the best course of action now is to setting boundaries. “Number one is that you don’t want him going on any more stag dos because you can’t trust him in that environment.”
She also thinks her husband should “keep some distance between himself and the groom.” Oh, and they might want to consider couple’s counseling.
“If you realize you can’t get past it,” she says, “then at least you’ll know you tried your very best before walking away.”
It’s certainly generous advice, but we suspect we’d be particularly hung up about the fact that these were two separate occasions. Why did he only scream when he woke up after the second tryst?
Maybe he thinks sleeping with one guy is par for the course at a stag party, but two exceeds the limits of good taste.