Could this Gay Dad’s Adoption Search Be Nearing It’s End?
By Henry Amador-Batten
I was browsing through the list of children waiting for families on our local agencies adoption site when I happened across his profile.
He was five nearly turning six and there was something in his eyes that spoke to me.
I can’t tell you what the connection was but it was there and undeniable.
I even went so far as to contact my agency worker to get more information about him without even consulting my husband.
I know that sounds terrible but the state does not move quickly, there would be no child waiting for him when he got home and if the fit were not right we would have ample opportunity to find that out along the way.
No, this was a simple inquiry asking to know more.
There was a video attached to his file that I hesitated to watch. His mere image had moved me so that I was fearful the the video would ruin that. I was afraid that something I heard or saw would tarnish that warm feeling I was having and that it would make me second guess my gut and this little boy as a possible addition to our family.
I hit play and sat with a smile on my face as this sweet and thoughtful little child talked about his hobbies and his favorite colors or foods. I listened closely as I tried to make out the words his little mouth had yet learned to pronounce correctly and I became even more excited that he might very well be the one.
We never expected to adopt an older child, our son just turned four and we had read so much about maintaining birth-order that a younger child seemed to be in order and yet there he was looking right at me as if only to me.
This little man has already experienced more hardships in his life than most of us ever will, he has already experienced some horrific losses and yet his eyes seemed so bright and hopeful.
My son passed through the room as I watched the video and he creeped up upon my lap to listen in.
Who is that? he asked.
A little boy looking for a family, I replied.
Our son is aware that we are hoping to grow our family and we have had many open and honest conversations with him about how that might look. He always listens intently and has asked some really thoughtful questions but it always ends up with talking about which of his toys he would have to share. He even once asked if his new brother or sister would be able to get his new “rockets and planets sheets” we assured him that those were his and he was just fine after that, apparently he really digs those sheets.
That night as he watch the video with me he asked if we could be his family and I answered that I didn’t know, it was not up to us.
I asked him if he thought he’d might like an older brother and he said yes daddy, I think he could teach me things and I could teach him things, I think that would be great, we should try to be his family.
That touched my heart so and as you can imagine, hearing that while watching the video pretty much sent me over the moon.
So what now?
We expressed interest in the child and I recently spoke with his adoption specialist who will now send our home study and file over to his personal case worker for review, If she deems us a good fit they will contact our representative and we will all have a sit down before ever physically seeing him.
If we make it through all of that we will slowly start to get to know him by way of small supervised visits that will lead to longer unsupervised visits and possible sleepovers to see if our home could be his. He knows that his present foster home is not his forever home and he knows that a lot of people are busy trying to find him just that, his forever home.
I don’t know where this all might lead but I have to say that we are all very excited about what 2016 might bring our way.
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