Spotlight Series: Kyle and Steve
TNF: Tell me about your family. Are you married? Do you have kids?
KYLE: Steve and I met in 1997 and have been together for 17 years. We got married in 2009 in a beautiful, old church in the center of Provincetown, Mass., in front of our very supportive family and friends who had traveled there from all over the country for our special day. While we’re legally married in Massachusetts, our marriage isn’t currently recognized by our home state of Texas. But we’re hoping that will soon change given the recent court decisions! We knew we always wanted to have children and decided to pursue domestic open adoption to start our family. Working with the Independent Adoption Center, we adopted our son, Kellan, in January 2013. He’s now almost 19 months old. We feel very blessed to have been in the delivery room on the day he was born and continue to have a very positive relationship with his wonderful birthparents. We’re actually hoping to grow our family again! We’re working with the Independent Adoption Center on a second adoption. As part of the process, we created two websites Kyle and Steve and I heart adoption to share information about our family with expectant parents who may be considering an adoption plan for their baby. We’re hoping people will share our websites to help us connect with an expectant mother and hopefully become a family of four soon!
TNF: How did you meet your husband/partner?
KYLE: We met through a mutual friend at a bar of all places. A few days later, we went to a Tex-Mex restaurant on our first date…it was 50-cent margarita night, so we obviously had a good time. We’ve pretty much been together ever since. On the fifth anniversary of that first date, I got down on one knee and proposed to Steve on a bridge overlooking the canals in Amsterdam. Lucky for me, he said “yes.” We didn’t intend it to be a long engagement, but it ended up being another seven years before we officially tied the knot. That was in 2009, after Massachusetts had begun to allow out-of-state, same-sex couples to get married there.
TNF: What do your children call you?
KYLE: Well, Kellan is still mastering the art of language, so for now he calls us “Da”or “Dada.” Eventually, we think he’ll call Kyle “Daddy”and Steve “Dad,”but who knows! I guess we’ll find out soon enough!
TNF: Do you feel different from other families? If so, how so?
KYLE: Yes and no. Obviously, our family is a little different from most families. There are times when we feel like we’re in the “spotlight”when dining in a restaurant or shopping in a store —“look over there, two men and a baby!”—but we’ve never felt “singled out”in a negative way. We see it as a “teaching moment”to show others that there are all types of families out there. However, at the end of the day, we’re really just like every other family: we want the best for our son…to see him grow and learn. In fact, our life pretty much centers around Kellan these days — whether it’s taking him to swim lessons, parent-child music classes, or to our neighborhood park. In that way, we’re just like every other parent who simply wants to make sure their child is happy, safe and feels loved.
TNF: Where do you live? Is it tough being a gay couple where you live? Do you feel accepted?
KYLE: We live in Colleyville, Texas, which is a suburb located between Dallas and Fort Worth. We’ve always felt very accepted as a gay couple in our community. It wasn’t until we had a child though, that people started to take notice of our family. We might get the occasional look when the three of us are out and about —I assume they’re mostly curious about our family dynamic —but what happens more often is that we get people coming up to us to tell us how cute our son is or to say “you’re doing a great job, dads.” And, now that we’re trying to adopt again, we have even more neighbors and people in the community wishing us well on our journey to expand our family.
TNF: What has having a family meant to you?
KYLE: Becoming fathers has been an amazing journey. We cherish every moment with Kellan. To see him light up when you walk into his room in the morning is an incredible experience that never fails to fill us with joy. It’s so much fun to see the world through his eyes as he explores his surroundings, tries new tasks or learns new things. Steve and I have also grown much closer and become even more of a team as a result of parenthood. The love we have for each other is stronger than ever, knowing that we have built this family together and the fact that we both just want our children to have the best life possible. That has been rewarding in and of itself. If we’re blessed to have another child, we will surround him or her with a lot of love just as we have done with Kellan. What will be really cool is to watch them grow up as siblings!
For anyone who is interested in following our adoption journey, they can like us on our Facebook page!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful family!