Months after Ugandan President, Yoweri Museveni, signed the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, Uganda’s government has recently stated that the bill is not homophobic. The statement follows much international criticism and a loss of nearly $1.6 billion in aid. Museveni insists the law was simply put into place to reduce open displays of homosexuality. And while it is still a punishable crime to be openly gay and a criminal offense to not report displays of gay affection, the bill is being “misinterpreted” as way to discriminate against homosexuals.
Yet, the Ugandan government’s statement has caused a domino effect of other almost believable statements. Several groups and organizations have come out of the closet to change their long-standing views on controversial topics.
At a local press conference in Louisiana, the president of the Bayou Knights of the Ku Klux Klan peeked from under his sheet to announce members of the KKK are not racists. “I won’t say I love black people because that would be a lie, but I respect their struggle. Members of the KKK do not hate black people. We are not racists.”
When asked about the Klan’s long history of discrimination and violence, the president, who would not state his name or fully remove his sheet, said this, “We are trying to strengthen the human race. What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Fear is good. I am God fearing. I do not hate my black brothers, but since I am an extension of Christ, they should fear me.”
Days later a representative from the Christian Science church wrote the following in a blog post on The Christian Science Monitor’s website:
“We are now starting to realize that prayer is not the best medicine. Prayer is best used when combined with Western medicine. Much like most of the world balances Eastern medicine with Western medicine, the Christian Science church will soon balance its beliefs with the scientific facts provided by doctors.”
Perhaps the most shocking event stemming from Uganda’s statement on its Anti-Homosexuality Bill came from a group of girls attending FroCon, a weekend long conference for all things related to Disney’s hit movie Frozen.
The girls, who all insisted on being called Elsa, were found in a corner reading S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. When asked why they weren’t building snowmen, they said they were catching up on school work.
“All of my friends really like Frozen, but I don’t like it anymore,” said the first Elsa as a collector’s card of Anna fell out of her book.
The second Elsa chimed in, “Yeah, I mean, is love really an open door?” To which all Elsas giggled and then got up to check out the Hans impersonator.
Rumors were not confirmed, but it is strongly believed Dunkin’ Donuts will soon reveal that their donuts are all calorie free, despite being loaded with fat and sugar.
Thanks to Yoweri Museveni and his government’s clarification, it seems like many groups are starting to provide the truth behind their “misinterpreted” actions. And with no end in sight to such honesty, our world will only become a better place.
Amber is a writer for The Next Family, Inventor Spot and VT Mommies.
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