And here she comes, with all the latest baby gear, loaded with all kinds of baby accessories, slow and calculated walking, like Rambo with her ONE single baby, she gave me the “watch out I am a modern, smart, big deal mom” kind of look and all I could think was phsss I have 3 of those missy and half of the arsenal…
One thing that most women own and defend is the fact that they have the natural ability to be moms. That is serious stuff, their pride and prehistorical experience on that role is something you are not supposed to mess with.
Anytime a female discovers my role as principal caregiver of 4 babies with the total absence of a female in our household, something changes, I notice a subtle higher pitch in their voice, their attention becomes more acute and their body posture tends to acquire an upright position. My sensors tell me, it is time to go for the test again. I can feel the wave of emotions coming my way, it feels like their entire weaponry is pointing at me.
Its mostly pity the feeling they manifest, pity and some superiority. I can see how they shake their heads with their eyes. They are too smart to really shake their heads but not enough to hide the real feeling behind their expressions.
Some may feel fear and even defiance. They may think – Who in the hell do you think you are to usurp the job I have done exclusively for thousand of years, the role I played so well that no man ever, was able to even think about taking? This is my own nature you are insulting…
Then is when all the unsolicited advice starts to shoot my way. And yes they never had triplets but they took care of their cousin’s irish twins, and you don’t know how hard it gets later, and good for you! You must have your hands full. God BLESS you! Translation: ha you don’t know how much blessings you are going to need from now on.
And the Spanish women… Oh well that is a whole new post… I don’t know if that is because of their culture or because we are both Latinos and they feel they can be more intimate with me, but they are especially animated and eye rolling when they learn I am a gay men with children.
They eyes open big, I am afraid their fake eyelashes are going to fall right in front of me. Then there are those few seconds of awkwardness when they are thinking of how to digest the news and be supportive and true to their own person at the same time, they can’t hide their surprise from me, I know it’s coming, I just relax my shoulders, take a big breath and think, “Bring it lady, bring it on”
I would hope all these impressions are only in my head and none of these are real but my gut assures me: You are under test, watch what you do or say. You are playing on sacred territory. Smile and keep walking, don’t look back because they could cut your throat in a blink of an eye.