Gay Dad: Dear Dustin
By: John Jericiau
Okay son number 3, it’s time for you to receive your first letter from your Daddy. I’ve done the same for your two older brothers. I hope when you finally read this (or have this read to you) you will realize what a special and unique person you are.
Happy birthday! You’re 9 months old today! We will continue to celebrate your birthday monthly, or at least refer to your age in terms of months, until you’re between 20-22 months of age, when we will start saying you’re almost 2 years old. I have no idea why this change happens then; it just does. Your Daddy and Papa prefer to celebrate monthly anyway, which is how we celebrate the anniversary of our first date, which was 110 months ago today.
Yes, you have two fathers, both who love you very very much. I pray that by the time you are able to read your letter, the fact that you have two dads will be met with an “oh cool” or a “yeah, so?” by your classmates. Right now the momentum in our country is pushing toward marriage equality for all, including your two dads (who got hitched back in 2008 after both your brothers were born). I hope that this momentum will continue – so much so that you will be stunned to learn that there was a time when this country did not think your Daddy and Papa should share their love and lives with each other, just as I was stunned to learn when I was growing up that there was a time in this world when our black friends would have separate bathrooms, water fountains, and schools.
Speaking of your brothers, one of whom happens to be black and one white, they love you very much. Don’t let their actions fool you, like today when your oldest brother tried to dump you out of the door frame jumping contraption but your Daddy came just in time to catch you before your head made contact with the hardwood floor. Or like lately when your other brother will not let you play with any toys because they suddenly became toys that he wasn’t done playing with. No, your brothers, just like your two fathers and four grandparents and eight aunts and uncles, are infatuated with the very person that you are, and could not wait for you to arrive.
Your Daddy and Papa worked hard to get you here, with the help of an angel who you already look at in a very special way. She kept you safe and warm in her body for us, so that you would enter this world in a healthy, happy way. And you did. You were born in Los Angeles (whereas your oldest brother was born in Santa Monica, and your other brother in Hollywood) at 6:10am and we were there to welcome you with open arms. Some day if you want to hear the E Hollywood True Story edition of your journey from before conception until after birth, we will be more than happy to tell you.
You are an extremely happy baby with forever a smile on your face, except when you’re crying, which is not often, which is a good thing because it’s loud. You get tons of admiration for your charm and good looks, both which come either from your Daddy or your Papa. To us it matters not from where your DNA is from, but if it does to you, then one day you can find out. Right now it feels as if you came from the union of your Daddy and Papa’s love, and that’s good enough for us.
You are sitting up very well, and eating some baby food that we have either bought or made in a blender. Today you had a concoction of apple and banana that Papa and the boys made for you, and you absolutely loved it. You weigh between 20-24 pounds (your weigh-in is tomorrow at your doctor’s appointment), and you fit into clothes for a 12-month old. You’re saying Dada to me and everyone else, and lately when I walk out of the room you cry, and when I return you greet me with the greatest smile. Even your eyes smile, eyes that have not yet settled on a color but seem to be somewhere between hazel and green at the moment.
You appear to show absolutely no interest in crawling at this time, and you’ve done only a little bit of rolling, mainly to get to these little stuffed giraffes that you’ve seemed to take a liking to. Yesterday you stood in your crib while grasping the railing for nearly a minute, so you may be one of those babies who bypasses the crawling and goes right to the walking. Your oldest brother walked at 11 months and 1 day, but no pressure!
Dustin, I’m so happy that you are in our family. When you arrived our family felt complete, and you’re everything we could ever hope for in a son. Maybe the magic of our family birth dates reflects your unique, special quality. Daddy 12/22, Papa 6/22, Devin 5/22, Dylan 1/22, and Dustin 11/11. You still made it 22 but in your own way. Here’s to keeping that going your entire beautiful life. I love you.