Do you remember the first time you truly missed someone? Miss to the core, miss with tears and counting down the minutes until you see them again? I remember this feeling when my wife went to China. I ached for her to be back in my arms. Every day there seemed to be a collection of thoughts stored for our next conversation. I loved that feeling. I miss the missing. This time when my wife left for 4 days, all I could think about was taking care of 3 kids all by myself. Poor Susan left with barely a kiss goodbye. But as time passed our daughter Sophia began to notice that she missed her mom. Sophia would insert things that Susan might have said into our conversations, she began wearing only the clothes that Mom had picked out for her. She cried several times before her return. It was the first time that I have seen our daughter truly miss. It broke my heart and made me want to leave town all at once. Even though Susan didn’t spend Mother’s day with her kids, she was appreciated from afar in ways that we have yet to see before.
Although it’s always difficult to watch my children in pain, emotional or physical, I couldn’t help but be happy that she was able to express her love. I have been known to wear my heart on my sleeve, to feel anger, sadness, joy, fear in the most passionate ways which can be challenging at times, especially for those close to me but I feel I have been given a great gift to be able to express myself to know that I won’t let a day go by without letting those I love know what they truly mean to me. “Today is a good day to die” is a phrase that Native American’s use to remind themselves that every day should be lived to the fullest without regret, to feel alive in every passing moment, to be present. And so as my daughter cried for her Mom just a few hours before she was due back home, I held her hoping that she will always be lucky enough to love someone so much that she will miss them when they are away.