Expectant Gay Dad: Five Things I Still Need to Do
By John Jericiau
Thirty-eight weeks pregnant. It seems unreal just reading the words. We tried to get our friend/surrogate pregnant a year after she helped bring our second son into the world, but the embryos we had left over didn’t take. That was four years ago! Then about a year ago we started from scratch: choosing the egg donor, contacting the attorneys, meeting with the doctors, injecting our friend/surrogate, cheering at a positive pregnancy, continuing the daily injections, going to the OB appointments, praying for the pregnancy to continue, marveling at the ultrasounds and heartbeats, and watching our baby boy #3 grow. And here we are, with his birth almost guaranteed to be in the next two weeks. Incredible! Unbelievable!
I’ve done so much in the past month to prepare for his arrival. I’ve cleaned out almost every cupboard and closet in our house. I’ve washed (with Dreft) every single hand-me-down we possess from our sons, hand-me-downs that have been stored and waiting all these years to be reused. As I refolded each one of the onesies and pants and shirts, I was able to recall with vivid clarity how it looked on my sons, and how it felt to hold one of my sons in my arms when he was wearing it. It was hard to believe that my giants were once this miniature size. Some of the onesies are the size of their feet now.
Every piece of equipment and paraphernalia has been washed and scrubbed, and batteries have been replaced. Each car has an infant car seat and a diaper bag, stuffed with newborn diapers that are the size of a blanket for a Barbie doll.
I’ve started the ball rolling on our landscaping. Brand new safe and secure fence installed – check! Unnecessary and dangerous objects that were lying around the yard thrown out –check! Contractors lined up to continue work through the first three sleepy months of new baby world – check!
Annual physicals have been taken care of. Our entire family now has clean teeth. Eyes have been examined. Flu shots are done.
Cars have been serviced. Our three-year old minivan’s lease is up in January but we already have a new one sitting in our driveway.
The boys are already registered for upcoming activities. My Master’s Swim Team membership is on hold for the next three months. I’m not paying $90 to swim once in a blue moon.
Continuing education, a requirement of my Physical Therapy license, has been completed. Parent-teacher conferences are today. Bills will be paid online automatically for the next two months. The “just arrived” card has been completed and is ready to go once he is born and weighed and measured.
As I write what I’ve done to prepare for his arrival, I realize that I’m doing pretty well. What does come to mind is a list of five important things that I still must do: