An Anniversary Letter From One Wife to Another

July 18, 2012

A Letter to My Beautiful Wife:

Wow.  I can’t believe it has been three years since we stood by the beautiful ocean water in Connecticut and promised our lives to each other.  I remember every moment of our trip as if it were yesterday, and would gladly repeat the process over and over again every year (well, maybe except the misplacement of your driver’s license when we went to get our marriage license).

In the four years that we have been together, and three that we have been married, we have seen a lot of things, gone so many places, and experienced life in such a way that I could never thank you enough for doing it with me.  Standing outside of the nation’s Capitol with you (and 250,000 others) and fighting for marriage equality was a highlight of our first year of marriage.  While some states have gotten on board with same-sex marriage, while others continually try to take it away and repeal the progress that has been made, here we are, living our lives every day and becoming a part of our community just like everyone else.  I guess what we have is just normal, everyday, boring MARRIAGE.  I don’t think that we’re special or set apart.  I think that we do the same things as other people, gay or straight: keep a house, do laundry and dishes, grocery shop, cook dinners, raise kids, pay bills.  What some might be surprised to know is that we don’t go around doing everything in big gay parade fashion, with rainbow beads and balloons leading the way.  Lawmakers would probably be surprised to know that we are not the deviants that they think we are, huh?  I think that if one or two of them looked into our windows when we weren’t looking, they would be disappointed at the sheer normalness going on in here.  And I guess we SHOULD apologize to all of the hetero couples of the world to being one of those couples who are destroying the sanctity of their marriage.  I had no idea, when we got married three years ago, all of the countless affairs and divorces that our marriage would cause – did you?  It is a huge burden and responsibility that we should take seriously, right?

It sucks that we still are not treated equally in the eyes of the law, but I pray that with each anniversary, we will be one step closer to progress.  I am confident that we will see change during our lifetime, and hopefully our children will grow into adults who respect everyone for who they are as a person and not the color or their skin or who they love.  I am blessed beyond measure to be going down this journey of life beside you.   During our third year, you have gave me a beautiful daughter, and a sister to Nicholas and Noah – there are no words to say how grateful I am for this completion to our family.  I am so excited for all of the many adventures that we will experience together with these beautiful kids we have been given!  And during this upcoming fourth year of marriage, we will be blessed with a (cough) grandbaby.  Yes, I know we are entirely too young for the role of grandmother, but as with any unexpected situation that has come our way, we adapt and roll with it, and just spread the love a little more!

So here we go, starting another year together as wife and wife.  I love you beyond measure and I love the life that we have built together.  Happy, happy anniversary with a promise of many more to come.

I love you always,


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Tanya Dodd-Hise

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