Surrogacy Friends

Kerrie Olejarz

By: Kerrie Olejarz


Isn’t it funny how commonality brings strangers together?  In the world of Indian surrogacy you become immediately ingrained in similar people’s lives.  You find blogs and forums on the most important subject in your life: having a baby in India.  Most of our Indian surrogacy bloggers are putting their story out there for the world to read.  Many assume an alias, but their stories of years of heartache are very real, and as we follow along on their journeys we begin to feel connected, almost as if we knew them personally.  I never imagined myself a blogger, but here I am four years later having grown in readership, all as a result of new readers looking for a glimmer of hope in India.  I know there are a million blogs and forums on the web, but once you narrow down your key subject matter and find places in which you feel comfortable, it shrinks down a bit.  Initially you are a lurker, reading stories and forum posts, trying to understand the lingo, the location, and the general goings on of the people.  Soon you find the courage to introduce yourself, maybe disclose a bit of your history and eventually you will be sharing with these virtual friends details that you have not told your family or closest friends.  The friends you make online in this situation are very real and very supportive of your unique circumstances.  Then, maybe, you find someone who lives close to you and you meet for coffee, and if not, for sure when you hit Indian soil, you are sure to meet up with someone from a blog or website, or the non-techies who are in India doing the same things as you.  When I walk into Dr Shivani’s office or hospital, I find others in the waiting rooms, and we immediately start a conversation, sharing infornation about our home cities, then whether or not we are self cycling or using an egg donor, or here for baby pick up.  We might even recognize one another from blog pictures.  Eventually, we make plans to have dinner and then a friendship is built.  It is exciting to meet intended parents in the same part of the process, as you can imagine reconnecting with them in nine months.  For me, every time I have been in Delhi I have spent time with the same Aussie woman.  These were not planned meetings, it was just fate.  We continue to keep in touch by email and sharing blog stories.  We love to see each other’s babies develop and grow, even though it is all done by the internet.  I think the bonds we make through this  journey are positive bonds and more than likely lifelong.  The original crew we met in Mumbai years ago is all planning a trip to Thailand together.  We now plan for kid-friendly places and not adult-based holidays.  If you are working on a baby via surrogacy in India, I encourage you to reach out to others through blogs and forums; you will gain great knowledge and hopefully a new lifelong friend.

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