Stay out of the Doghouse: Top Ten Bits of Advice From a Birth Mother

The Next Family

By: Brandy Black

Susan Howard

  1. When you walk in the door offer to pick up the baby and if she refuses it ask if there is anything you can do to help, understanding that she is exhausted and wants to know that you are there for her.
  2. Make her nap and if she tells you she’s not tired, make her lie in bed for one hour.  She will fall asleep.
  3. No matter how insane she sounds; never tell her she’s crazy.   She already knows this.
  4. When she is about to get angry or cry for no reason, stop everything and hug -or better yet, kiss- her.  She might fight this but I guarantee you if you do it right she will melt in your arms.  She may still cry but it will be for all of the right reasons.
  5. Don’t ask questions.  Figure it out.  Phone a friend if you need to.
  6. Buy her something that makes her feel sexy.  My vote is lingerie.
  7. Have sex. When having an orgasm a powerful hormone called oxytocin is released, it’s a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close, it is known as the cuddle drug. The theory is that the more sex a couple has the deeper their bond becomes.  This will be tricky because the last thing a woman wants is sex after birthing children.  So wait -but not too long- and don’t just pounce on her, tease her, make it sexy and if you are good she’ll think it was her idea all along.
  8. Tell her you love her everyday.
  9. Text her.  Call her. Bring her coffee. Make her feel like a lover not a mother.
  10. Make her laugh. Laughter heals everything in time.

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