Filling the Emptiness

By: Kerrie Olejarz

When we returned to the hospital we learned that Cailyn had spit up. The doctor wanted to monitor her for a bit, and asked us to feed her and watch her to see if the spitting up continued. It was with great pleasure that we sat in the little room next to the nursery and fed our little girl an ounce of warm milky formula. After her feed she rested so nicely in our arms. She did not spit up again thankfully and shortly after the
pediatrician came in to say we were all clear to leave, all of us, the three of us! It was so very exciting to hear these words!!

We took out time packing her into her little travel bassinet. It was now dark outside, around 6:30pm, and we had to find a ride back to the B&B. Before leaving the hospital, the nurse came to us with some take home items: an 8oz Pigeon brand bottle, a container of Enfamil formula, and a 7500ml bottle of chlorhexadine hand sanitizer. This was a surprise to us; at home you leave the hospital with just the baby!

We gingerly carried baby Cailyn in her bassinet down the flights of stairs to the main lobby of the hospital and asked reception to call us a cab. Shortly after a non-air conditioned van arrived to pick us up. With all the overwhelming excitement we were hot –hot, and sweaty! The air in the cab was thick, but fortunately the drive was short and we were very soon back at the B&B.

We had recently started contact with an immigration liaison who had helped us sort out the best way to approach Cailyn’s exit process. The liaison was
able to alert the Canadian High Commission that we would be coming tomorrow. When we got home with Cailyn we called Rahul to arrange a ride to the High Commission the very next day.

Having Cailyn with us in our room should have felt overwhelming, but it didn’t; it just felt right, comfortable, as if she had been with us forever. She was long overdue in our life and we had a huge empty space to fill, so on that day in New Delhi, this sweet baby girl filled the emptiness and then some. As we sat and stared at her in pure awe we realized we should triple check our paperwork for our first High Commission visit tomorrow. Cailyn slept so nicely, making the odd little squeak just to remind us that she is here. We reviewed her citizenship paperwork and organized ourselves.

We had purchased bottled water and a kettle so we boiled some water to fill up the thermos for the next day. We packed up a little travel bag for her, tiny newborn diapers, a small pack of wipes, a burp cloth and face cloth, a change of clothes just in case, and a travel diaper change pad. All we needed to do in the morning was add some boiled hot water to the thermos and hit the road. The first night with Cailyn was great! She ate a little and slept a lot. We showed her off on Skype, our little sleeping beauty. In the morning daylight she looked a little jaundiced but nothing too concerning so we continued on about our day.

A few days before we flew to India I decided to buy a cheap bouncy chair to bring with us. So, on morning number one, we strapped all 6 pounds of baby into what seemed a ginormous chair, supported her with rolled up blankets and headed to the dining room for breakfast. Both Hariz and Rama enjoyed meeting her, especially Hariz. He stood back and admired her from a distance, saying “baby sleep”, even though she was awake. We just smiled at Hariz and enjoyed watching him admire her.

Next it was time to head to the Canadian High Commission to start the going home process…

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