Non-Bio Nesting Crazy
By: Tanya Dodd-Hise
Do dads and/or non-biological moms get the nesting hormones that many pregnant women get right before they get ready to deliver? What about adoptive parents who await the birth of their child from a surrogate or birth mother? I don’t know about scientific evidence that can answer these questions, but I do believe that the answer is YES (at least for THIS non-biological adoptive mom).
We are now five weeks out, if she makes it that long. Over the past two days, I went into overwhelmed panic mode, out of the blue. I looked around our house and freaked out, deciding that all of the laundry must get done and put away. Now granted, I have let the dirty towels and sheets pile up, but simply because that is the laundry that I hate doing the most. So I spent a day doing just clothes, then started a second day of clothes laundry while I loaded up my Jeep with sheets and towels and took them to a laundromat to do all at once. One would think that it would have helped my anxiety to get so much accomplished in such a short time, but no. Once I came home, I took another look around and started thinking of all that needed to be done: dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, putting TONS of baby things away yet again (because we had another shower this past weekend), sweeping, mopping, vacuuming. My chest started getting tighter and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. By the time Erikka got home, I had a killer headache and was still trying to figure out how to get more done. She made me sit and told me to breathe. My response? “There’s not much time left! And we can’t bring a BABY home to a nasty house!” I seriously needed to take a moment.
But it got me to wondering if dads or other non-bio moms get like this. I don’t recall my boys’ dads getting too uptight about much of anything just before the babies’ arrivals. They always seemed so laid back about everything, and up until yesterday I thought that I was pretty much the same way. But I find myself worrying about the state of cleanliness at our house all the time now – and trust me, I HATE cleaning. I worry about every pain that my wife gets. She has gotten a few small contractions here and there, and I worry about those, too (given that she is not supposed to have any labor whatsoever). I know for sure that I am this baby girl’s mama, because I already worry about her all the time!