Sex in Stirrups

Lex Jacobson

By: Lex Jacobson

There is a ton of literature out there on “gender selection”, which teaches how the timing of ovulation and sex can determine whether you are having a boy or a girl. If you want a girl, have sex two days before you are due to ovulate; for a boy, have sex the day before or the day of ovulation. Girl sperm have the patience to hang out and wait for the egg; boy sperm…not so much. But boy, can they swim hard.

From what I’ve read and heard, couples that get pregnant via intrauterine insemination with donor (frozen) sperm are more likely to have a boy. I suppose it makes sense – most IUIs are done the day before or the day you ovulate. Frozen sperm has a lot shorter life than fresh sperm, so I suppose the strongest swimmers are going to be the ones who make it.

But how much of this do I believe? Wouldn’t almost ALL couples doing IUI end up with boys?

Going into this first IUI this week, I feel like I’ve read way too much about fertility. Obviously, the whole process is going to be clinical, but I feel as though with the knowledge I have going in, there is no fun in this baby-making process. Which I want to change.

Although it won’t be as fun as having sex, I do want the conception of my child to be special. I want to be looking into the eyes of my 55-year-old male doctor. I want – somehow – for this to be Devon’s and my moment. Not like I expect it to be sexual or anything; I just want it to be more than staring at the ceiling with a speculum sticking out of me. But I don’t know what that looks like yet.

I do know I want to be holding Devon’s hand – and if possible, I’d like to be looking at her. I feel like it’s tough enough being inseminated with a complete stranger’s sperm, when this whole process is Devon’s and my journey. It’s our child. It’s our pregnancy. It’s our family.

We are both huge believers in energy and both recognize that we want to give off a very welcoming vibe for baby, but it’s hard to get over the clinical aspect. How do we keep this process special and intimate? One of my doctors (not associated with the clinic) said that it’s important to find the feeling that you feel when you’re making love, as it actually changes the chemical balance in your body, which enhances your chances at getting pregnant. While I know that people get knocked up every day without having that feeling, there is something to be said for the intimacy.

How did you do it? How would you do it?

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