Conversation with the Boy

S Ralph

By: Shannon Ralph
Lesbian Mom

 

Lucas: Momma, which is bigger? A mile or a pound?
Me: Huh?
Lucas: Which is bigger? A mile or a pound?
Me: What are you talking about?
Lucas: I want to know which is bigger. A mile or a pound?
Me: Neither one. They are two completely different things.
Lucas: (rolling his eyes) I know they are different things. But which one is bigger?
Me: You can’t compare them Lucas. Neither one is bigger than the other.
Lucas: But if they were the same, which one would be bigger?
Me: That makes no sense.
Lucas: Seriously, mom, if they were the same, which one would be bigger?
Me: But they’re not the same.
Lucas: But what if they were?
Me: (taking a deep breath and attempting logic) Lucas, one measures distance and one measures weight. You can’t compare them. Neither is bigger than the other.
Lucas: Mo-om! (I do so love the multi-syllabic pronunciation of the word “mom”.) Just tell me.
Me: Neither one.
Lucas: (getting extremely agitated with me) Come on, mom! Which one is bigger? Just tell me!
Me: (admitting defeat) A mile, Lucas. A mile is bigger than a pound.
Lucas: (grinning profusely) I knew it!

Some days, it is simply not worth the effort.

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