Two Dads: Considering Another Baby

The Next Family

By: Chris Coyne

The last few months have been a huge learning lesson for all of us.  I know I am still considered a newbee parent after these challenging 16 months.  I also know I am doing my best trying to guess my way through the endless decisions I make daily that will eventually shape the child I am raising. A few months back if someone would have asked me if I would consider adopting another child I would have definitely said no.  Jon and I have always jumped back and forth on expanding our family.  Things change.  We adapt.  We see beyond the day-to-day challenges and see the blessings.   Fatherhood has been very rewarding and we all want more.

It started with a short conversation between Jon and me.  Should we?  Do we really want another?  Can we do it?  Yes we can.  We know in our hearts we do want another child.  It took years to have a great match with a perfect birthmother.  We do not want CJ to be an only child and it seems like every other child around him has another sibling.

What is next?  Lots of paperwork!  We are meeting with a Maryland home study social worker today.  We have to jump through a few hundred hurdles to get the paperwork done, get some more blood tests, write a bunch of checks for this and that, and then we wait.  We had a great experience with the attorney who found CJ’s birthmother so we are going to use him again.  This requires a few trips to California, but it gives us the opportunity to see our friends and family who we really miss.

Tonight CJ woke up and needed some additional rocking and loving before finally passing out.  A few seconds before his eyes finally closed they locked on mine and he cracked a half smile before dosing off.  It was a great moment.  My happy little boy will be a big brother some day.  We do not know when it will happen, or whether it will be a boy or a girl, but we opened that door and it feels great.

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