By: Ann Brown
Lunaea is seeking housing. She said to me, “I need to find a place that fits my lifestyle.”
And then she said, “and then I need to find a lifestyle.”
I said, “What sort of lifestyle appeals to you?”
She said, “I don’t know. Maybe I should just find a house first and then adopt the lifestyle it dictates.”
Which got me to thinking.
What is my lifestyle? I mean, other than just being derisive and envious of other people’s lifestyles. Which, come to think of it, is a lifestyle in and of itself. Yes, a contrarian lifestyle.
Are you wondering if you, too, might be a Contrarian? Then answer this simple question:
Do most people prefer to be with a person who is a) snarky b) a wiseass c) covetous, or d) gracious?
Oh, so sorry. That’s wrong. The correct answer is: what the fuck do I care what other people think?
The architectural style of my house is Early 1970’s Charm-free Split Level. Does that describe me? Well, kinda.
Early 1970’s. I was born in the 50’s, but the early 70’s definitely shaped who I am today. Why, just this morning I didn’t shave my pits. That makes, oh, eighty thousand mornings in a row.
Split-level. Now, that’s an interesting one. I don’t have multiple personalities or anything – fuck, I barely have one personality – but I guess I could be described as split -level. I mean, my boobs cantilever over my stomach. Almost. With a good brassiere. Standing on my head. Forty years ago.
Yup. Our house dictates who we are. Think about it. Are you a Craftsman? A detached single? Do you see yourself as a Classic but people call you an A-frame behind your back? Are you flat? Roundhouse?
Next week, Lunaea is going to check out a sweet little Victorian house in North East. I hope she brings her calling card and fainting couch.