SWF ISO Lifestyle

The Next Family

By: Ann Brown

what does your house say about you?

Lunaea is seeking housing. She said to me, “I need to find a place that fits my lifestyle.”

And then she said, “and then I need to find a lifestyle.”

I said, “What sort of lifestyle appeals to you?”

She said, “I don’t know. Maybe I should just find a house first and then adopt the lifestyle it dictates.”

Which got me to thinking.

What is my lifestyle? I mean, other than just being derisive and envious of other people’s lifestyles. Which, come to think of it, is a lifestyle in and of itself. Yes, a contrarian lifestyle.

Are you wondering if you, too, might be a Contrarian? Then answer this simple question:

Do most people prefer to be with a person who is a) snarky  b) a wiseass c) covetous, or d) gracious?

Oh, so sorry. That’s wrong. The correct answer is: what the fuck do I care what other people think?

The architectural style of my house is Early 1970’s Charm-free Split Level. Does that describe me? Well, kinda.

Early 1970’s. I was born in the 50’s, but the early 70’s definitely shaped who I am today. Why, just this morning I didn’t shave my pits. That makes, oh, eighty thousand mornings in a row.

Charm-free? Check.

Split-level. Now, that’s an interesting one. I don’t have multiple personalities or anything – fuck, I barely have one personality – but I guess I could be described as split -level. I mean, my boobs cantilever over my stomach. Almost. With a good brassiere. Standing on my head. Forty years ago.

Yup. Our house dictates who we are. Think about it. Are you a Craftsman? A detached single? Do you see yourself as a Classic but people call you an A-frame behind your back? Are you flat? Roundhouse?

Next week, Lunaea is going to check out a sweet little Victorian house in North East. I hope she brings her calling card and fainting couch.

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