An Adoptive Mom Doesn’t Agree With Adoption Books

The Next Family

By: Meika Rouda

toddler introductions about their adoptive family

My three-year-old son has been practicing introducing himself. I have no idea where he learned this –I assume from pre-school where proper introductions are a vital part of community interaction. He takes his right hand and puts it right in your face, his fingers open so you aren’t sure if he is trying to high-five you or shake your hand. Then he looks you in the eye and declares “Nice to meet you!” and enthusiastically grabs your hand and shakes it furiously. It is very forward, slightly violent, and overall extremely charming.

The fact that I have a three-year-old is startling to me sometimes. It took us three years to become parents, and once we adopted our son we as a family were three. Now we have a new baby who is four months old so we are now a family of four.

I never expected to adopt a child, let alone two. But when three years of trying to get pregnant naturally didn’t work out, we skipped IVF and took the adoption road. Adoption was actually an easy solution for us since I was adopted at birth and also have an adopted sister. I am very close to my family and have never been “reunited” with my birthmom, nor do I plan to be.

I have been reading a lot of adoption books lately since I now have two adopted kids, but I don’t agree with most of them. Ironically it never occurred to me to read books about adoption before I adopted kids and now I know why: I seem to be one of the only adopted people who has adjusted just fine to being adopted.  My hope with this blog is to show a side of adoption that doesn’t seem to be documented in these books, one that I find completely happy and normal. And to remind people that families are made in many ways and each is just as wonderful, complicated, and deeply bonded as the next.

So, nice to meet you.

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[Photo Credit: Flickr member: Ben McLeod]

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