By: Ann Brown
So Claudia wrote a list the other day of all the shit her someday future daughter-in-law will notice about her and find hypocritical. Claudia is a playright and an editor, and coming up with this list probably took her the better part of a Friday. It was a really well-written list.
It is precisely this kind of time management choice that bonds me to my Facebook Ladies Writing And Creative Endeavors Salon.
Claudia’s boys are nowhere near marrying age; in fact, none of our kids are planning to get married anytime soon, but we all felt compelled to study Claudia’s list and discuss it. It’s such an important topic. Especially when Jane is late for a meeting and Claire is on a deadline for her next novel.
This whole “working at home on your own time” thing intrigues me. They did not teach time management at my high school. I am certain this is the sole cause of my lazyass lifestyle.
My niece Alia – imbued with all the ambition and work ethic that Karen and I traded in for pot in 1971 – actually showers and gets dressed in real clothes just to work in her home office. When my oldest was here last week for Robin’s surgery, he took 8AM phone consults with clients in a suit. In the living room.
I often go to work in the clothes I slept in the night before. Which were the clothes I went to work in the day before. Really, the only things I am consistently on top of are overeating and tweezing.
And even the tweezing ocassionally goes to hell when life is hectic and I forget to bring the magnifying glass into the bathroom for mustache inspection.
A lackadaisical attitude towards personal grooming.
And thus begins the list of things my someday future DIL will notice about me.
I better buckle down and get to work on this list right now.
But first I better go into the bathroom and fix the DIY haircut I did at 2AM this morning. You know how ideas seem so kickass bitchen when you are dangerously sleep-deprived? And how – if you don’t wear your glasses and only have the nightlight on in the bathroom – you can totally dig the coif you give yourself, employing all the methods you see Shanonand Vesta use in the shop, like cutting in sideways and twisting locks of hair before you snip?
The morning light brought a harsh blow. I look like I pulled out pieces of hair with my teeth during the night. The only positive thing I can say about my new haircut is that I have finally discovered the perfect style to highlight a double chin.
Which is enough accomplishment for today, right?
Photo Credit: [Flickr member: Denise Mattox]