By: Heather Somaini
Things sinking in…it’s tricky isn’t it? Our world was turning upside down almost daily but then at the same time, it was eerily the same. I still had all the same feelings of being the master of my universe and that the decisions we made would shape that universe.
I arrived at the hospital the next morning to find out that Tere had a horrible night. The bed being tilted back caused terrible heartburn and 100% bed rest was absolutely no fun as you can imagine. Luckily, my doctor, Dr. K, was on rounds that morning and immediately rectified the entire situation. No more Trendelenberg position and she got her bathroom privileges back! She was very happy.
Unfortunately, I had a very difficult decision to make. I was scheduled to leave for the east coast the next day – New Year’s Eve. I was spearheading an initiative at work and I was scheduled to screen a film at a conference and speak on a panel. There was no one I could hand it off to; I had to go. I worked out a schedule that would have me away for only four days; I could do everything at the conference AND I could see my family for a day in Tennessee. I desperately wanted to salvage some of the holiday for my Mom and this meant I would be with them for New Year’s Eve.
But I hated leaving Tere. I was dreading how alone she would be for those days while I was away. It was clear that she was going to be in the hospital until the babies were born –maybe 10 weeks away if all went well, and I started thinking about the sacrifice she was making. It was huge.
As I got on the plane, the weight of everything started to sink in and became somewhat overwhelming. I wanted Tere to know how I felt, so, in keeping with our electronic world, I wrote her an email.
I’m on plane and when you get this I will have landed but still taxi’ing to the gate.
I love you so much. And I’m grateful that you emailed me a little over 5 years ago. My life has taken on new meaning because of you. I have grown so much and am really beginning to like who I am and I owe so much of that to you. Because of how much you love me, I could begin to see at least a few of my good qualities.
I’m so excited about our new and growing family. We are (but mostly I am) so lucky that we’ve had the opportunity to spend the last 5 years together. Our children are going to flourish with you as their parent. They are truly going to grow to be fantastic people because of you.
I would hate to know life without you. I’m so amazed at the sacrifice you have made and are continuing to make to see our hopes and dreams come true. Thank you!
I love you! And miss you terribly. Know that you are not alone and that I am with you always, like you are with me.
I got to my parents’ newly constructed house late on New Year’s Eve and spent a day with almost my entire family. It was bittersweet without Tere but it was amazing to see my grandparents. Unbeknownst to me, it would be the last time I would see one of them. Looking back, it was worth it to spend that time with her.
I had a great conversation (some would call it a debate) over the “Expectant Mother” parking spaces at a restaurant we went to – I still think I should have been able to park there.