Hell No, We Won’t Go. Unless we Can Drive There.

By: Ann Brown

Portland mom writes about the days of being a hippy, protesting and doing lot’s of drugs.

I miss the Vietnam War.

Well, I miss the protests, I mean.

I miss the anger and the energy I had and also I miss the embroidered Mexican peasant blouses I used to wear to the protests. Man, Protest Couture was rippin’ in the 60’s. Embroidered jeans, embroidered blouses, sandals, braids, leather purse with fringes and a pocketful of joints. No wonder we were all sleeping with each other. We were all so damn cute. And stoned.

Being part of a protest march these days just isn’t the same as it used to be for me because my feet can’t walk in sandals all day anymore. I tried that in New York this summer when Robin and I walked from midtown to Chelsea and back which was not so much a protest or political statement as it was that we were looking for this really good Italian restaurant someone told us about. But still.

And putting on Easy Spirit walking shoes, support socks, and Spanx to go out and protest is so depressing. Plus, there is the whole humidity on hair issue.

The fact is, a person really doesn’t feel like helping other people when she doesn’t feel good about what she’s wearing. When a person doesn’t look good, she pretty much just wants to be left alone to soak her blisters in the Crock Pot and watch “The Amazing Race”.

Which is why – due to having nothing to wear to protest marches – I can take no credit for anything good that has come to be in the past, oh, twenty five or so years. Except my kids. I take full credit for them, save for the years they ate their boogers.

Oh, I mean I do my part, albeit in the most minimal fashion. I vote, I compost, I rocked an Obama lawn sign, I scream at the TV whenever I see Meg Whitman or Palin or Heidi Klum saying for the gazillionth fucking time, “one day you’re in and the next day you’re out.” Really, Heidi, do you think that’s a unique observation? You think no one has ever realized that’s true about life, much less about fashion? I mean, God love you, Heidi – I can forgive whatever your grandfather may or may not have done during the war (even though they ALL swear that THEIR grandparents were part of the Resistance. Right. EVERYONE’s grandparents were part of the Resistance. I guess there were only, like, eleven actual Nazis during the war) – you seem like good people, Heidele, but for God’s sake, shut up already with the “one day you’re in and the next day you’re out.” And between you and me, you look as if you are really enjoying saying it each time. Which, again just between you and me, is kinda Nazi-like behavior. I’m just saying.

I think if I could find some really comfortable, really youthful shoes I could get back into protest marching. And maybe a terry cloth sweat band with, like, a hammer and sickle embroidered on it. Under the swoosh.

And I could protest-march three times a week, for about 45 minutes, for heart health.

Wait. The weather here in Oregon sucks. My hair would be all Roseanne Roseannadanna and shit in about five minutes. Never mind. No protest marching.

AHA! I will march around a shopping mall! I will bring back the revolutionary spirit of the 60’s. Maybe carry a few placards. You know, as arm weights.

Who’s with me? Okay, then. We meet next week at o’dark hundred in front of Cinnabons.

Cinnabons Recipe
1 1/4 oz. pkg. active dry yeast (I used 2 1/2 tsp.),1 cup warm water (105 to 110°F) ,1/2 cup granulated sugar ,1/3 cup margarine, mel
1 tsp salt ,2 eggs ,4 cups all-purpose flour 
1 cup packed brown sugar, 2 1/2 tbsp. cinnamon , 1/3 cup margarine, softened 
1 stick margarine, softened 
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar 
2 oz. cream cheese 
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract 
1/8 tsp. salt 
For the rolls, dissolve the yeast in the warm water in a large bowl. Mix together the sugar, margarine, salt and eggs. Add flour and yeast mixture and mix well. 
Knead the dough into a large bowl, using your hands dusted lightly with flour. Put in a bowl, cover, and let rise in a warm place about 1 hour or until the dough has doubled in size. 
Roll the dough out on a lightly floured surface. Roll the dough flat until it is approx. 21″ long and 16″ wide. It should be about 1/4″ thick. 
Preheat the oven to 400°F
For the filling, combine the brown sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Spread the softened margarine evenly over the surface of the dough, and then sprinkle the cinnamon and sugar evenly over the surface. 
Working carefully from the top (a 21″ side) roll the dough down to the bottom edge. 
Cut the rolled dough into 1 3/4″ slices and place 6 at a time evenly spaced, in a lightly greased baking pan. Let the rolls rise again until double in size (about 30 minutes). Bake for 10-15 minutes or until light brown on top. 
While the rolls bake, combine the icing ingredients. Beat well with an electric mixer until fluffy. 
When the rolls come out of the oven, coat each generously with icing. 
Makes 12 rolls )

These can be frozen after baking. Just pop one into the microwave for 20-30 seconds to reheat.

See? Exposing the corporate secret recipe of Cinnabons is already subverting the dominant paradigm. The 60’s are back, baby.

See you at the mall.

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