Adjusting to Each Other

The Next Family

By: Amy Wise

For those of you not familiar with my blog, you probably don’t know just how different Jamie and I really are from each other. Aside from the obvious racial differences, we are pretty much night and day…yeah, yeah, ha, ha…I know, night and day…hilarious!!

Here’s a little bit of history regarding just how opposite we are. I was raised in upper middle class white suburbia; Jamie was raised in the “hood.” His words not mine. I was raised by two parents who have been married for over fifty years; he was raised by a single mom. I went to college after high school; Jamie joined the Army. I went to school overseas; he was in the Army overseas. I work in “white collar” jobs; Jamie works in “blue collar” jobs. I always have long-term goals; Jamie lives day to day. I love to be out and about; he loves to chill at home. I love new cars; he loves old cars. I love new music; he loves old school. The list just goes on and on.

So how the heck do two people who clearly are DIFFERENT in every sense of the word stay married, and not only stay married, but become stronger every year? It almost seems impossible doesn’t it? With everything that is so opposite about us, what do we actually have in common?

Well, the first and foremost is LOVE! We love each other to the core of our being. We will ALWAYS be there for each other through everything, no matter what that “everything” might be! Secondly, family means the world to both of us. We love them all! Then, there is the respect. I respect him and he respects me. I respect his likes no matter how “crazy” they might seem and vice versa. We crack up at how different we are, but we truly “get” those differences. We also give each other space and friend time. It’s never just about us. We both had lives before we met and we still do. That’s so important. We might be a couple, but we are individuals as well.

We have taught each other so much because of the very fact that we are different. Jamie has told me time and time again he would not be where he is today if it weren’t for me. That means the world to me and brings tears to my eyes every time he says it. That is so huge! I also would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for him. He has brought me back to the basics and puts it so simply…no matter what is going on, he always asks me the following, “You woke up this morning right? The rest is just stuff.” So simple huh!?! He grounds me. I love it!

It’s all about coming to the middle. Two totally different people who love, share, teach, give space, and just continue to adjust to each other…how cool is that?

Amy Wise is a Freelance writer in San Diego

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