The Next Family

By: Brandy Black

Our shower and tub are clogged again; this happened to us a couple months ago.  We spent $750 on new pipes the last time so you can imagine our dismay when yet again there is 2 feet of “I don’t want to describe it” floating around the tile.  At 11:00 at night I went to Vons to buy Draino in hopes that it may allow me to take a shower in the morning.  While I was there, the friendly clerk told me that we should buy a snake for only $5 at Home Depot.  He went on to brag that they hadn’t seen a plumber for 8 years.  Finally a solution to our twice yearly visits from Mario our, I must admit it, amazing plumber.

Today, we went out for burgers and then…

“We’re off to Home Depot Sophia,” I say, tilting my head up to my daughter as she sits on my shoulders.

“Home Depot!” Sophia yells loudly through the parking lot.

I quickly duck my head down. “Shhh Sophia, you don’t want to stereotype us do you?  Say it quietly” I say, jokingly.

Sophia yells “Home! (and then whispers softly) Depot”

We bought the snake, Susan tried it, couldn’t figure it out, I tried it, couldn’t figure it out and we are returning it tomorrow.  I guess I was right; try as we may, we really aren’t Home Depot lesbians.

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